Do you sometimes feel that your life is running out of control? I used to feel I was on a busy motorway, full of traffic, cars passing on both sides, people speeding as if there was no tomorrow, others dawdling, looking for their turn off. Sound familiar? Compare this to driving along a quiet country road, the wind in your hair and time to enjoy the countryside around you. Your senses come alive. Peace descends.
The motorway scenario wakens up the wrong senses and feelings. If you are living a motorway life, you need some clarity of vision. As someone who spent a lot of time on the motorway, I’m going to give you some ways to gain insights into clearing up your thinking and making change easier. You may need to get creative in your approach but without clarity of purpose any attempts at change are unlikely to be effective. You can make changes and adjustments as you go but keep certain things clear in your mind.
- 1. Are you clear WHY you want to make changes in your life?
Tip: In your head, go through all that is not sitting well with you and how you feel about it. Be honest. Have you got some unpleasant feelings?
Benefit: You start to experience the difference between your current situation and the new one. Your mind doesn’t distinguish between the real and the imagined, so you can get the new, good feelings ahead of time. This keeps you motivated.
- 2. Are you clear WHAT action you need to take in order to make change happen?
Tip: Have a plan. Make any actions do-able. Do something for just five minutes if that is all you have, but do it. Go for quality not quantity.
Benefit: You feel good and moving ahead with your plans little by little. Anyone can manage a short amount of time. You have no excuse for not taking action.
- 3. Are you clear WHO you will communicate your plan for change to?
Tip: Recruit someone you trust. Enlist their support. Choose only those who will be supportive. Change is hard enough without the naysayers.
Benefit: You don’t feel isolated. It is difficult to tell a supporter that you have not carried out your promised actions.
- 4. Are you clear WHAT rules for success you will set yourself?
Tip: Make the rules so simple that it would be ridiculous not to follow them. These rules are our personal beliefs about what happens “IF..”
“If I start my new project, I feel proud of myself.”
Benefit: Once we know how to do this, we can work out how to feel good about ourselves all the time. If your rules are simple, you awaken change.
5. Are you clear WHAT a successful outcome will mean to you and those around you?
Tip: Make a list of people who are adversely affected by your bad habit. How would life be different for you and others if change happens?
Benefit: You become aware of the advantages of making change happen. You take control of your life. With time, conflicts are less. Life starts to be more harmonious
“Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.” – Jonathan Swift
Until next time – see what you want to see and feel what you want to feel.